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November 9, 2007 / consciousness

relink or male shaving stories

i love some of the terms that link to my page. some are so hilarious that from now on i will decide to write something about some of the best ones.
todays special:

male shaving stories

wtf? what were they thinking? i got something like 20 hits because of that!! so me being a great economics student and seeing that there is a demand for male shaving stories, i will now offer the needed supply and write about me shaving. if this turns you on, do continue to read, if it turns you off, dont.

so there i was, seven o’clock in the morning, standing in the kitchen with a cup of fresh coffee in my hand. not really alive yet, just about breathing. sleep still had a fairly strong grip on me and apparently didnt want to let me go. i had to fight it, so i resorted to my favourite weapon against sleep and fought it with my anti vigilance brew. double espresso.

outside the world felt with me. it hadnt realised that life was once more regaining its foothold of the world and sulked in the evergray mood of pre-dawn light. i looked at the window and found some hiddeous monster staring right back at me. in the early hours of the day, there is not much civilisation left in us humans. we are reduced to the grunting, grumbling primates that roamed the earth long before the invention of the fully automated coffee machine, incapable of speech or fast movement.
standing there, i stared at the reflection of myself, reduced to its basic biological form, undilluted by any sort of human trait to form a character or a protective barrier of self esteem. my hair has the tendency of going off to parties while i sleep and settles back on my head just before i get up. its pretty anarchistic in its design. these days you can get special gel to get that special out of bed look, well i am forced to fight it every day. having had a hectic week i didnt get around to shavingeither, so i had a nice stubble covering the lower half of my face and neck. i sip my coffee and thoughtfully rub my chin which gives of the sound of ice being scratched from a windshield. knowing that i had to be at work soon i had to get myself in shape.
the coffee wouldnt kick in for another fifteen minutes, so what would help to get myself going? nothing better than a hot shower if you know that out there one awaits a cold and rainy gray autumn day.

i stand under the shower letting the hot water run over my head, drowning out the headache, that persits if i decide to leave the sanctity of my bed too quickly. five minutes later i lean on the washbasin, wipping the mist of the mirror and looking into a somewhat lively face, thats coverd in brown stubble. this doesnt look very respectable, so i should do something about this.beards
i turn on the hot water and let it fill the basin. with the shave-brush i mix up a nice lather that i spread evenly over my neck and cheeks. i pick up my razor and start with my neck. now there are a few simple rules as to how one should shave. i tend to ignore them. any shaving company will tell you that one should always go with the direction of the hair growth, a “south to north” direction. sod that, you get a closer shave if you go in the opposite direction. and if you use decent shaving cream, not the cheap stuff you dont get any skin burn. my weapons of choice: a nice badgger tail brush, hot water, wilkinson classical shaving cream (in a pot!!) and a mach3. i am contemplating chucking the mach3 and getting myself a nice double edge, those which were used even by my great grandfather. what about electric razors? NEVER!! wouldnt touch those with a broom stick. trimmers for the beard ok; but razors? nope, aint gonna happen.
…i drag the razor across my neck in a south north fashion, getting rid of the most annoying stubble that scratches the collar of my shirts. then i go with the cheeks, clearing most of the stubble except for a line that follows the entire jaw line, some call it an abe lincoln. the carefull finetuning follows directly after this, taking care of any irregularities. there, done. a splash of cold water and some soothing after shave and i have recreated myself, the clean smell of aftershave, the coffee running through my system have revitalised and recharged me, ready to face another day!!

right if this didnt satisfy your need for shaving stories (lmfao) go to http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6886845/ and read up all about wet shaving.

laterz
rmt

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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. randomguyblog / Nov 16 2007 12:13 am

    I don’t even have a clue what this “blog post” is about.

    But the picture makes me laugh!

  2. trollboy / Nov 17 2007 1:43 am

    That guide to facial hair is great. Definitely something to file away for future reference.

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