Excerpt from ashesandembers:
Fictionalizing the Weekend
April/May 2007–Berlin– about 3 o’clock.
I walk down the stairs, dive into the throbbing thrive of sweaty sticky human bodies. My mind is numb the bass is pulsing in my stomach and floods my body. My heart starts to synchronize, my thoughts are blocked out. I move to the heartbeat of the night. Its rhythm has taken control of me. Lights, faces, fragments all flashing before my eyes, half closed I can’t make out any more clear outlines. There is no individual only a mass of moving pulsing and throbbing flesh squeezed onto the sticky dance floor. I collide with other bodies, the friction of touch, the sensation, the electric feeling that tingles in your hands. My senses are dulled and over-sensitive at the same time. my blurred vision comes back, letting me take in my surroundings. The bass changes and in that small transition; the realignment to the new pulse I see her. She smiles and looks deep into my eyes. My brain can’t process the information properly so I don’t react. I am flowing again. The sweet-bitter smell of sweat, alcohol, marihuana and cigarettes is omnipresent. It sticks to your skin, nettles in your hair and every fiber of your clothing. One more step towards melting into the crowd. The air is blurred, blue-gray; the lights cut through the slow mass of swirling smoke, leaving a trace of color in the air. The movement of the sticky human flesh around me is only to be discerned by those short flashes revealing clear shapes of individuals, before letting them succumb to the unshapely mass of sweaty flesh that pushes in on me. During those short revealing moments of humanness I feel two dark eyes fixed on me. I stare back and notice the warmth spreading up my neck and in my cheeks. It doesn’t matter, no one can see, too dark and I am sweating already, at least I feel my shirt sticking to my back, but doubt that this is just my own sweat, guessing by the humid air and the heat given of by my surroundings.
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